archived: 8 - 14 Apr, 2007         Back                 Next

UPDATED: April 11, 2007 

 “GLOBAL WEIRDING”

What came to be known as the “Indian Territory” was established by Congress in 1830 by the “Indian Removal Act.”  It was a program for doing just what the Act called for that was aggressively pursued first by the “Great Democrat,” Andrew Jackson.  The policy was then followed by most his successors in the White House through to the end of the Indian Wars in the late 1880s.  Although Indians lived throughout the Great Plains, the Rocky Mountains, and the Southwest (and eventually reservations were established in all of these areas) the “Indian Territory” itself was located on what eventually became the state of Oklahoma.  Although from the 1830s onwards there were many Indians living on that arid land --- what became the Great Dust Bowl of the 1930s --- it was nevertheless opened up to “white” settlement in the land rush of 1889.  The Oklahoma Territory eventually became a state in 1907, when the Indian Territory was formally abolished. 

Given its Native American heritage, it is most appropriate that its current most well known Senator has a Native American name as well as his Anglo one.  Yes, Sen. James “Global Warming is All a Hoax” Inhofe is actually most appropriately known as Sen. “Laughs While Earth Burns.”  For there he was during the most prominent recent hearing of the Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works just chortling away.  He chortled during Al Gore’s serious testimony.  He chortled when he tried to exceed his allotted time for questioning.  He chortled when he tried to force Chair Boxer to put off further remarks by Mr. Gore until the end of the hearing so that he, Sen. Laughs While Earth Burns, could get more time to carefully explain that the whole thing about Global Warming/Climate Change is a hoax.  He chortled when Sen. Boxer simply put him in his place. 

So there he was in his place, poor Sen. Laughs While World Burns.  So many people are being taken in by the Grand Hoax.  One must sympathize with him.  First of all, there are all those earth/space scientists and climatologists who are not on the extractive industries’ payroll (Union of Concerned Scientists, 2006, “Voices of Federal Climate Scientists,” [pamphlet]).  If they are not Hoax perpetrators, then they have just been taken in by it.  Then there is Dr. James Hansen of NASA, firmly convinced by the evidence in support of the Grand Hoax, who has described Bush Administration attempts to muzzle him (obviously a strong Hoaxer) as “Nazi-like.”   

Further there is the obviously commie-pinko-liberal international investment firm, UBS.  They actually said in their March 2007 newsletter Investment Intelligence: “Climate Change: Beyond ‘Whether.’  Widespread climate change is no longer a hypothesis --- the scientific community is virtually certain that human activities are influencing the earth’s climate system.  What does that mean for investment decisions?”  Well, one can just hear Sen. Laughs While Earth Burns saying, “who would want to invest with them?  Another group just taken in by the Hoax.” 

Then there is that known hotbed of commie-pinko-liberal radicalism, the United States ski industry, and their financial backers.  Alison Gannett won the Canadian Freeskiing Championships in 1998 (and we know what anybody who adheres to the concept of “freedom” is, don’t we.  As the pre-World War II boos of Jersey City, NJ, Mayor Frank Hauge once said: “You hear about Constitutional rights, free speech and the free press.  Every time I hear these words I say to myself, ‘That man is a red, that man is a Communist!’  You never hear a real American talk like that.”  Just like you never hear a real American talk about Global Warming and that it’s all or fault. ).  Now an anti-global warming activist, Ms. Gannett was quoted in a recent issue of that red journal Skiing (magazine, March/April 2007) as saying: “I believe that global warming isn’t a good way to describe what’s happening. . . . A better term is “global weirding.”  Just another hoaxster, and this one is really weird. 

Then there is the Aspen Ski Corporation, at the center of the village that is home to the most expensive ski-related real estate in the country.  ASC predicts that if things don’t change and change soon, by 2100 their ski season will be two weeks long.  And just think about those radicals in the banking industry that finances ski area construction.  They have announced that they will no longer fund any ski area projects at elevations under 5,000 ft.  That means, for one thing, no more bank loans for any of the ski areas in the Northeastern United States.  Swiss banks are being a little more lenient.  Their lower limit is 4920 feet.   

As a writer in the aforementioned Skiing said (Rob Story, “Fiddling While Rome Burns,” March/April, 2007): “This is bad news for skiers, of course.  As glaciers retreat, so do our sport’s long-term prospects. . . . Our planet is cooked, and one day its exhaust will scorch our sport to death.  Skiing as we know is toast.”  Well, he’s got a good turn of phrase, but again, that stuff about glaciers retreating is just imaginary.  Those pictures, like the one of the supposedly gone Swiss glacier on p. 19 of that same issue of Skiing?  Obviously just a great job with Photoshop ™.  All additional hoaxsters or victims of the hoax, which Senator Laughs While World Burns so reliably tells us it is. 

Then there are all of those personal/internal contradictions of Gore and his pinko Hollywood supporters like John Travolta.  They aren’t saving energy themselves, you know.  Huge houses, cars, planes.  But actually Sen. Laughs While Earth Burns would put that one down to their credit.  They are totally self-contradictory, just like his favorite Presidents, CheneyBush, who are sending American soldiers one after another to die in order to establish democracy in Iraq, while those two are doing everything they can to totally destroy it here.  So chalk one up for self-contradiction.  That’s OK.  Anyway, even though there is no global warming, if there is, it is all the sun’s fault, so it doesn’t matter what anybody does on a personal level, because it’s not our fault anyway.  And there’s nothing we can do about it.  And anyway, as Sen. Laughs While Earth Burns tells us, what is going on is really global cooling. 

Finally, thank goodness for that “Broad White House Effort to Stifle Climate Research” (Justin Hood Reports, ABS News, March 27, 2007) described by that simply totally irresponsible Government Accountability Project.  According to Hood, “The group says it has identified hundreds of instances where White House-appointed officials interfered with government scientists’ efforts to convey their research finding to the public, at the behest of top White House officials.”  Well, at least someone else besides Sen. Laughs While Earth Burns is dealing effectively with those hoaxsters and fear-mongers. 

Oh by the way, just in case you are one of those hoodwinked folks who think that “global warming” or “climate change” or “global weirding” isn’t a hoax and is really happening and are getting depressed because you think that nothing can be done about it, think again.  In the February 16, 2007 issue of the journal Science (the weekly publication of the American Association for the Advancement of Science), under the general heading “Sustainable Well-Being,” there is range of articles on what can be done, including developing carbon-vacuum cleaners.  All it would cost is money, admittedly lots of it.  But apparently we could solve the problem.  It would just cost a lot, especially if we were as well to take care of the problems created by global warming for all those poor folks south of the equator (AC Revkin, “Poor Nations to Bear Brunt as World Warms,” NY Times, April 1, 2007, no foolin’). But oh I forgot.  The Georgites are already spending every last penny they can find on funding the super-rich and Permanent War around the globe.  Ah well, and I thought that I was going to be able cheer you up. 

                                        ------------------------------------------------- 

This column is based in part on a column of mine that appeared on the webmagazine BuzzFlash (http://www.buzzflash.com) on March 27, 2007.

________________